If folks would like to go one step further, Braver Angels sets you up with a conversation partner of a different background/politically leaning where you share your perspective on certain political topics - not to change minds, but to increase understanding. My sister has been meeting with an older gentleman from rural Vermont and it's been great! They've both learned a lot from each other.
To me, this is a far better idea than talking to strangers, knowing that we have this major ideological and moral gap between us, and not talking about it.
Yeah, I know that sounds judgmental, But I consider racism and hate to be immoral and unethical. So, yeah I'm being judgmental
I live in corn country and these aren’t misinformed people. These are hateful, hypocritical, willfully ignorant people. These are people who encourage their sons to be violent, (we have a group of about 12-14 LARPing around town in their neck gators and backpacks on weekends). These are people who attend church every week and are constantly cheating on their spouses, these are people who will say n***** in the grocery store or make fried chicken and watermelon jokes in the middle of an antique store (yep, I was there to hear it!). These people deserve only shunning for the rest of their miserable, ignorant lives. The larger problem is smart, decent people who won’t get off their ass and vote because no one promised them a pony.
Last year, I traveled for a month with a friend who is not only a Republican, but has worked to reelect Trump. We were visiting another Republican friend in Chile. These are good people with good hearts, but it is getting harder to discuss the current political situation because it’s so upsetting. This is when the doors need to be opened wider, not closed, but I find myself unable to bring up the steamy topics. It is one thing to understand that conservatives aren’t our enemies, and another to open the door to good political conversations.
I admire your courage. I am withdrawing from my MAGA friends....slowly. They, too, are good people with supposed good hearts. I can't, however, reconcile with what they present with how they voted. And, when we gather there is complete silence on current events, which we have always avoided through the years to keep the peace. But, their silence continues to bother me and confirms their complicity in all the evil that is happening. I am struggling on how to manage these relationships and don't know how to move forward - with or without them. It's good to know that I am not alone.
I too have separated myself from anyone I knew who voted red. Sadly I no longer believe they are good people with good hearts. Sometimes I get frustrated with myself for not having seen who they really were all along. As I look back now, there were definitely clues. I was oblivious. It all makes me sad.
This is pretty much my experience. I have held on to some previously very close friendships by NEVER talking about politics except for the most vague references to tariffs, etc. And I belong to a church where many voted for this horrible man 3 times! I have managed to maintain cordial relationships, but after this last election, I will never look at these people the same way again, because they voted to harm the most vulnerable and the stranger while claiming to be followers of Jesus.
They (friends who call themselves Christians and voted for MAGA) are such hypocrites. I can't pretend anymore, as if their vote is normal. Walking away is about standing up for my own morals and convictions and not giving them the gift of my friendship by validating them when they validated DJT. I am done.
Ohhhhh Jessica! Your post this morning is precisely what I have been longing to know about!!!! I’m sharing this information with like-minded friends - soooo grateful for you!!!!!
You would HAVE to each possess the groundedness and great sense of self to withstand not normalizing their behaviours and this environment...if that is true then that only would be good ground .... it has gone too far now in every direction and they see none of that now ?? Normally this is the answer ..Im just not sure anymore?
OMG OMG I loooove this so much. A thousand thank yous for sharing everything you share with us. Let’s resist, be loud, protect democracy AND build a bridge!!! 🫶🏻
I want to know more about this female methodist minister in the midwest. Because she is female she can't be all that conservative since she sought the ability to have some say in her religion. There are so many things. How is her health? Does she get vaccinated? Does she have family or friends with cancer? Does she think milk should be inspected? Who would have thought all these simple life issues would become political?
Yeah we didn’t talk about any of that. The point is not to have political discussions but to try to understand people who think differently from us? I think?
Methodist from the Midwest chiming in to say that yeah, any church headed by a woman is far more centrist than the most right-wing people in rural America. She could still be well right of all of us here, though, and that makes her exactly the kind of potentially reachable person we need to build bridges with!
Hooray for you! A great reminder that despite all the craziness, the vast, vast majority of us have more in common than not. I will definitely check out these conversations.
I wish this made me feel heartened. And maybe it would have during or even following his first term. But I will never get past people being capable of voting for a convicted felon/r*pist/insurrectionist. It does not matter what else I "have in common" with them. I am truly not demeaning anyone who sees this as a way forward. But for me, casting that vote after J6 is the thing I will not come back from.
I'm not sure if you're being rhetorical - but if you're asking me directly, I don't really have many...actually just one I know voted for Trump, and I haven't really been able to engage. I just can't see the person the same. I don't even mean to feel this way, necessarily...but I do. Their spouse is in law enforcement but they voted for a felon?
This is all so wonderful and interesting. I’m older, a widow, and very liberal. But I’m seeing a guy who has what I would say is a good heart, but we can’t talk politics. Part of the problem is I start to explain my position and he won’t listen, and gets all agitated. So we just don’t talk about it. But I do listen to him that’s what irritates me! But his often is a knee jerk reaction stuff like “ oh I’m from the government and I’m here to help you” , old Reagan lines. You can’t fight old Reagan lines, at least I can’t, I’ve given up!
This has been my experience as well. Liberals, even by definition, tend to be open to new considerations. The willingness to listen and engage is just not nearly as consistent with conservatives.
I heard a podcast, either Hidden Brain or Clear and Vivid, both about communication, where someone explained that conservatives tend to have narrow viewpoints and liberals broader viewpoints, I am not doing justice to the explanation of the phenomenon, but it was so interesting. And that’s how it seems from a practical perspective. I’m a lawyer, and I enjoy hearing different angles on things, and if you can’t argue both sides of an issue you’re not a good lawyer.
You are absolutely right. I've been pounced on by fellow libs/progressives/lefties for describing my experience among men in a rural area of Maine (Waldo County) who definitely voted for trump. These guys are just fantastic at helping me with projects moving earth and heavy things, installing plumbing and electrical, etc. Sure, I get the occasional whacky explanation that the Apollo landing was probably faked, but other than that, these are good and thoughtful people. My concern is that they get only completely slanted "information" in place of fact-based news. That is a problem. The thing is, the goal of the political-industrial complex, including much media, is to neatly divide us into two camps, and pit us against one another, and that needs be permanently ended. End Oligarchs United!
Yeah Vance says territory concession needs to be made by Ukraine!!! Maybe just maybe he should read a history book or two and maybe giving up territory would be under “European snatching of native Americans land “ would pop up?
Thank you for sharing your OSS story. I had a recent experience parking my Tesla outside a grocery store in the pouring down rain. A lady in a big SUV rolled down her window and said she liked my car. I said thank you and added he should’ve stayed in the car business. She made it clear we were on a different page. I said we are all in this together and we have to figure things out. She readily agreed with me as well as how important conversations like this were. I said if it weren’t pouring down rain, I would like to have more discussion, as she extended her arm through the window and we embraced each other’s arms. I was nearly drawn to tears as I told her how important I thought conversations like this were. I felt a deep feeling of compassion and caring for a person I had never met before. We parted agreeing how important it was to connect with people. I left feeling warmly in awe and hopeful for humanity.
I support this idea and agree that rehumanizing each other is needed. My sticking point is that I’m a trans/nonbinary person and MAGA is seeking to make me nonexistent. It’s super scary and also really pisses me off. My being has been politicized as a sacrificial lamb for the religious right. I see this dialogue opportunity as a privilege for some people. Do you think I should want to engage someone who is trying to erase my existence?
If folks would like to go one step further, Braver Angels sets you up with a conversation partner of a different background/politically leaning where you share your perspective on certain political topics - not to change minds, but to increase understanding. My sister has been meeting with an older gentleman from rural Vermont and it's been great! They've both learned a lot from each other.
Thank you! I didn't know. I'm checking them out. https://braverangels.org/
Thanks for this, Claire. I knew about Braver Angels but somehow missed that part of what they offer. How great!
To me, this is a far better idea than talking to strangers, knowing that we have this major ideological and moral gap between us, and not talking about it.
Yeah, I know that sounds judgmental, But I consider racism and hate to be immoral and unethical. So, yeah I'm being judgmental
I live in corn country and these aren’t misinformed people. These are hateful, hypocritical, willfully ignorant people. These are people who encourage their sons to be violent, (we have a group of about 12-14 LARPing around town in their neck gators and backpacks on weekends). These are people who attend church every week and are constantly cheating on their spouses, these are people who will say n***** in the grocery store or make fried chicken and watermelon jokes in the middle of an antique store (yep, I was there to hear it!). These people deserve only shunning for the rest of their miserable, ignorant lives. The larger problem is smart, decent people who won’t get off their ass and vote because no one promised them a pony.
I definitely agree that some Trump voters—as I said in the post—are irredeemable. No question.
Last year, I traveled for a month with a friend who is not only a Republican, but has worked to reelect Trump. We were visiting another Republican friend in Chile. These are good people with good hearts, but it is getting harder to discuss the current political situation because it’s so upsetting. This is when the doors need to be opened wider, not closed, but I find myself unable to bring up the steamy topics. It is one thing to understand that conservatives aren’t our enemies, and another to open the door to good political conversations.
I admire your courage. I am withdrawing from my MAGA friends....slowly. They, too, are good people with supposed good hearts. I can't, however, reconcile with what they present with how they voted. And, when we gather there is complete silence on current events, which we have always avoided through the years to keep the peace. But, their silence continues to bother me and confirms their complicity in all the evil that is happening. I am struggling on how to manage these relationships and don't know how to move forward - with or without them. It's good to know that I am not alone.
I too have separated myself from anyone I knew who voted red. Sadly I no longer believe they are good people with good hearts. Sometimes I get frustrated with myself for not having seen who they really were all along. As I look back now, there were definitely clues. I was oblivious. It all makes me sad.
I feel the same way. Did I miss something? Were they always hidden bigots, racists, homophobic, selfish, conceited, and performative humans?
This is pretty much my experience. I have held on to some previously very close friendships by NEVER talking about politics except for the most vague references to tariffs, etc. And I belong to a church where many voted for this horrible man 3 times! I have managed to maintain cordial relationships, but after this last election, I will never look at these people the same way again, because they voted to harm the most vulnerable and the stranger while claiming to be followers of Jesus.
They (friends who call themselves Christians and voted for MAGA) are such hypocrites. I can't pretend anymore, as if their vote is normal. Walking away is about standing up for my own morals and convictions and not giving them the gift of my friendship by validating them when they validated DJT. I am done.
Ohhhhh Jessica! Your post this morning is precisely what I have been longing to know about!!!! I’m sharing this information with like-minded friends - soooo grateful for you!!!!!
You would HAVE to each possess the groundedness and great sense of self to withstand not normalizing their behaviours and this environment...if that is true then that only would be good ground .... it has gone too far now in every direction and they see none of that now ?? Normally this is the answer ..Im just not sure anymore?
OMG OMG I loooove this so much. A thousand thank yous for sharing everything you share with us. Let’s resist, be loud, protect democracy AND build a bridge!!! 🫶🏻
I want to know more about this female methodist minister in the midwest. Because she is female she can't be all that conservative since she sought the ability to have some say in her religion. There are so many things. How is her health? Does she get vaccinated? Does she have family or friends with cancer? Does she think milk should be inspected? Who would have thought all these simple life issues would become political?
Yeah we didn’t talk about any of that. The point is not to have political discussions but to try to understand people who think differently from us? I think?
Methodist from the Midwest chiming in to say that yeah, any church headed by a woman is far more centrist than the most right-wing people in rural America. She could still be well right of all of us here, though, and that makes her exactly the kind of potentially reachable person we need to build bridges with!
Nearly every Methodist pastor I know is liberal unless they voted to leave the United Methodists for the Global ones. I'm curious, too.
Hooray for you! A great reminder that despite all the craziness, the vast, vast majority of us have more in common than not. I will definitely check out these conversations.
I wish this made me feel heartened. And maybe it would have during or even following his first term. But I will never get past people being capable of voting for a convicted felon/r*pist/insurrectionist. It does not matter what else I "have in common" with them. I am truly not demeaning anyone who sees this as a way forward. But for me, casting that vote after J6 is the thing I will not come back from.
How do you disentangle from MAGA friends?
I'm not sure if you're being rhetorical - but if you're asking me directly, I don't really have many...actually just one I know voted for Trump, and I haven't really been able to engage. I just can't see the person the same. I don't even mean to feel this way, necessarily...but I do. Their spouse is in law enforcement but they voted for a felon?
Okay. This is great. Just plain great. I am trying to do a similar thing when I take my walks. It is hard but worth it.
I love this idea! Just signed up. Thanks for letting us know about it. Also, graphic has been posted to all my social media pages!
Done! Form filled out. Ready to meet a new neighbor. I linked your insta in my referral answer.
Excellent! Thank you!
This is all so wonderful and interesting. I’m older, a widow, and very liberal. But I’m seeing a guy who has what I would say is a good heart, but we can’t talk politics. Part of the problem is I start to explain my position and he won’t listen, and gets all agitated. So we just don’t talk about it. But I do listen to him that’s what irritates me! But his often is a knee jerk reaction stuff like “ oh I’m from the government and I’m here to help you” , old Reagan lines. You can’t fight old Reagan lines, at least I can’t, I’ve given up!
This has been my experience as well. Liberals, even by definition, tend to be open to new considerations. The willingness to listen and engage is just not nearly as consistent with conservatives.
I heard a podcast, either Hidden Brain or Clear and Vivid, both about communication, where someone explained that conservatives tend to have narrow viewpoints and liberals broader viewpoints, I am not doing justice to the explanation of the phenomenon, but it was so interesting. And that’s how it seems from a practical perspective. I’m a lawyer, and I enjoy hearing different angles on things, and if you can’t argue both sides of an issue you’re not a good lawyer.
You are absolutely right. I've been pounced on by fellow libs/progressives/lefties for describing my experience among men in a rural area of Maine (Waldo County) who definitely voted for trump. These guys are just fantastic at helping me with projects moving earth and heavy things, installing plumbing and electrical, etc. Sure, I get the occasional whacky explanation that the Apollo landing was probably faked, but other than that, these are good and thoughtful people. My concern is that they get only completely slanted "information" in place of fact-based news. That is a problem. The thing is, the goal of the political-industrial complex, including much media, is to neatly divide us into two camps, and pit us against one another, and that needs be permanently ended. End Oligarchs United!
Yeah Vance says territory concession needs to be made by Ukraine!!! Maybe just maybe he should read a history book or two and maybe giving up territory would be under “European snatching of native Americans land “ would pop up?
Thank you for sharing your OSS story. I had a recent experience parking my Tesla outside a grocery store in the pouring down rain. A lady in a big SUV rolled down her window and said she liked my car. I said thank you and added he should’ve stayed in the car business. She made it clear we were on a different page. I said we are all in this together and we have to figure things out. She readily agreed with me as well as how important conversations like this were. I said if it weren’t pouring down rain, I would like to have more discussion, as she extended her arm through the window and we embraced each other’s arms. I was nearly drawn to tears as I told her how important I thought conversations like this were. I felt a deep feeling of compassion and caring for a person I had never met before. We parted agreeing how important it was to connect with people. I left feeling warmly in awe and hopeful for humanity.
I support this idea and agree that rehumanizing each other is needed. My sticking point is that I’m a trans/nonbinary person and MAGA is seeking to make me nonexistent. It’s super scary and also really pisses me off. My being has been politicized as a sacrificial lamb for the religious right. I see this dialogue opportunity as a privilege for some people. Do you think I should want to engage someone who is trying to erase my existence?