Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Will, from Cal's avatar

We need a laugh today, and I posted this on HCR and got some likes last night, so... I present to you all... a 20-something voter's honest thought process (mine) while watching Kamala and Tim's 60 Minutes segment, presented James Joyce stream-of-consciousness style.

What even is 60 Minutes? (I've forgotten it existed.) Like, the show is 60 Minutes long? Isn't that most shows? It seems too long and yet also too short. Oh right, it's that Sunday Night thing Granny used to watch. I miss her. OK, focus. Why is this literal clock ticking at me? I forgot clocks could tick. Is Jack Bauer going to pop out at me? No, it's this guy sitting on a chair. I have no idea who this man is. Why is he all alone on this chair? Does he not have any friends? "She's been a candidate for two months and the honeymoon is over." How exactly did Man in Chair determine this? Is there a scientific agency that measures honeymoon periods, like those people trying to figure out if we are in the Anthropocene? Why is he so serious? At this point I'm used to everyone on video beginning with "Hey Guys, it's your boy [insert name like Cody or Blake], and here's what we've got for you today! Smash that like and subscribe button!" I'm confused. Does Man in Chair not want me to like him? (His name is apparently Bill.) It's a commercial already. Where is the "Skip Ad" button on this screen? There isn't one. That's the pits! OK, Kamala is finally here. Looking good in purple, gurl! Oh Lord, it's Israel time already. Y'all know she can't straight-up answer these questions without destabilizing the entire world, right Bill? She's not going to share state secrets. WAIT WAIT WHOA her lips are moving but I can't hear what her answer is because Bill is narrating in voiceover what her answer is instead? WTF?!? Do they do that on this show? Why would I want your version of what I can hear myself? "How are you going to pay for that?" Congress is gonna do it if you give her the right Congress, dumbass. WAIT WAIT WHOA did he just literally say "In the real world..."??? Is he literally mansplaining CONGRESS to the actual Vice President right now??? Oh thank God, she just straight up told him he was wrong to his face. "25% of voters say they don't know you. Why don't they trust you yet?" She is polling at 48-50% in almost all polls, so that's a whole heck of a lot of us who are apparently voting for someone we "don't know." Does this guy get that his serious face doesn't make him sound less dumb, or that question less insulting to voters? We're on to FRACKING again. Again. She isn't going to ban fracking! Changing your mind when presented with new information means you are reasonable. Why are people pretending like it's not? Do they want this to be the new "her emails?" It's not gonna be "her emails." Let it go "You have a gun, but have you fired it?" How badly did he have to restrain himself from adding "Shouldn't you be careful, little lady?" Wait... IT'S OVER? I learned nothing from this! Is this why no one knows anything about anything? At least here is Coach Walz! "Is there anything you two disagree on?" Oh for CRYING OUT LOUD, another question no reasonable person will answer! What's next, "how many of your wife's clothes does she look fat in?" Wait... IT'S OVER? Here's Liz Cheney! Why does Liz Cheney have as much speaking time as the VP choice? Bill and Kamala are now walking in some random hallway. Are they gonna bother telling me what this hallway is? Wait... IT'S OVER? There must have been more questions asked, right? **Goes to Google.** Oh, here they are! Ugh, these are shallow and repetitive as well. Why are they calling this a "grilling"? And why were her other interviews "friendly"? These were the same questions on MSNBC, the redhead lady on that channel just wasn't so damn superior about it. How many people still watch this? Apparently it is still about 8 million per week, after being on for half a century. Wait... how many people listen to "Call Her Daddy"? Apparently, it is about 2 million per week after about 5 years.

I can only conclude that I shall not cry when the dinosaurs finally die out.

Expand full comment
Alan Unell Ph.D.'s avatar

Thank you for all the resources, Jess and for the Resistbot about women's health. WE WILL WIN

Expand full comment
18 more comments...

No posts